Loneliness and Spirituality

 I asked my mother yesterday,”Mom do you ever feel so alone, just sheer loneliness? Or because you are married and have a family of your own, do you feel you always have someone.” She responded that everyone feels alone, it doesn’t matter if you are married or not or if you have found your soul mate or not. I wonder if that loneliness is a part of every human being’s spiritual quest. Is God supposed to fill that void? When we reach Nirvana do we even feel such things? Does having a life partner take away such feelings?

My picked me up from college the other day and greeted me with “Hi, Nay how is your relationship with God these days?” Though I was bit taken aback and wanted to laugh at the unusual greeting I tried to come up with an answer. Unlike so many people I know, I have always struggled with being able to keep “Krishna in my heart.” I could never chose my favorite deity and pray to ‘it’ in times of deep desperation. When doing pooja or in the Mandir I have never been able to make that deeper connection with the Supreme. The Gurdwara is the one place where I feed my spiritual hunger (and my physical hunger 🙂 ) I usually just end up talking to myself. So I said well “Dad, I talk to myself and since God is within us, I have a pretty good relationship with God.” I know there is a difference with being alone and loneliness. I struggle with both. I hate spending too much time alone but there are sometimes where I can be a room full of people and feel completely alone. The latter is what I am referring to. It does not happen often. I think it is normal and part of life’s journey. What bothers me about it is the intense fear and panic that overcomes me when that feeling of loneliness enters.

What your thoughts?

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Neha Uberoi Khangoora

Neha Uberoi Khangoora is a former professional tennis player, social entrepreneur and health and wellness advocate. She is the co-founder of South Asians in Sports (sainsports.com), a network of South Asian professionals who work in the sports industry.